It was probably inevitable that Bob Clark’s Black Christmas (1974) should get the remake treatment, especially given its canonisation as one of the forerunners of the slasher genre that dominated American horror in the late 1970s and early 80s. It’s equally unsurprising that the new version turned out to be just another superfluous and pale photocopy of the original despite its impressive pedigree.
Written and directed by Glen Morgan, of The X Files (1993-2018) and Final Destination (2000) fame (his frequent writing partner James Wong is one of the film’s producers), the basic story remains much the same as it was in the original film – a group of young female college students are menaced in their sorority house by a mysterious, eyeball-fixated intruder who taunts them over the telephone and murders them one-by-one. There are a few new and wholly unnecessary wrinkles, notably the inclusion of a second killer, a twist apparently demanded by the production company, Dimension Films.
As is all too often the case with these things, the remake of Black Christmas retains the bare bones of the first film but loses much of what made it so interesting. It’s often hard to put a finger on what exactly it is that made the American horror films of the 70s and 80s look and feel like they do but it’s easy enough to spot when it’s not there. And although the 2006 Black Christmas is too well made to be really awful, it’s certainly lacking that vital “something”. It certainly doesn’t feel anywhere near as inventive as Clark’s film.
Of course that might have something to do with the fact that we’ve all seen far too many slasher films by now for them to really be able to impress us much. The original had surprise and originality on its side. After too many identikit slashers we’ve become jaded and Morgan’s iteration has little to bring to the party but some impressive gore effects courtesy of Lindala Schminken FX, a company co-founded by another X Files alumnus, Toby Lindala.
Morgan happily splashes the blood around with abandon to it’s not really to much effect. It’s just a distraction from the fact that the characters are either dull or unlikable (sometimes both) and that Morgan’s screenplay contains too many silly diversions that add nothing substantial to the proceedings. The killer’s back story (revealed slowly through interminable and increasingly annoying flashbacks), his medical condition (which feels suspiciously like a rejected idea for an X Files monster and which was recycled by Dario Argento for his terrible Giallo (2009)) an the introduction of a second killer are all utterly pointless.
The cast is mostly made up of young actresses with either TV series connections – Michelle Trachtenberg from Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1997-2003), Morgan’s wife Kristen Cloke from Space: Above and Beyond (1995-1996) and Millennium (1996-1999) – fledgling “scream queens” – Mary Elizabeth Winstead (Death Proof (2007), The Thing (2011), 10 Cloverfield Lane (2016)); Crystal Lowe (Children of the Corn: Revelation (2001), Final Destination 3 (2006), Scary Movie 4 (2006)) – or both – Katie Cassidy from the remake of When a Stranger Calls (2006) and the TV series Supernatural (2005-2020) – with a few wild cards like Lacey Chabert along for the ride. Andrea Martin (who played Phyllis in the 1974 film) and Karin Konoval take the grown up roles, Oliver Hudson is a very obvious red herring and while none of them particularly disgrace themselves, none of them make much of an impact either.
Black Christmas released in the States on Christmas Day 2006 (it had opened in the UK on the 15 December) which drew the ire of some Christian groups who found the timing offensive and ill-judged, publicity that would have helped at the box office where the film performed well, more than doubling its official budget and hanging around cinemas for several months. Critics were less impressed by it but a degree of “brand” recognition and the release date only helped to attract curious punters. The version they saw in the States differed from the one released in Europe which was several minutes shorter and featured a different ending.
Despite all the professionalism, you never feel that there’s any particular love for the original film, though Morgan at the time expressed great admiration for Clark’s film. It’s slickly made but strictly by the numbers, soulless and oh so predictable though in fairness it should be noted that Clark himself gave the remake his seal of approval and signed on as a co-producer. Morgan’s career as a director was short-lived – there was just another remake, 2003’s reworking of a boy and his rat horror Willard (1971), and a handful of episodes of the revived X Files – before he moved back into production, overseeing television series like Bionic Woman (2007-2008), Intruders (2014) and Jordan Peele’s revival of The Twilight Zone (2019- ). Late in 2019 Blumhouse gave the story a third outing with actress turned director Sophia Takal putting Imogen Poots, Lily Donoghue, Aleyse Shannon and Brittany O’Grady through their paces.
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